I have a serious problem with impulse control. I don’t know how many times I’ve left my house late at night to go get Cheetos. Last night I went on such a mission and the clerk at the store apologized to the customers for being on the phone while he was helping us. Some sketchy thing had gone down in the parking lot (I think he said someone got stabbed, but the clerk told this to the dude in front of me and I couldn’t hear him very well. I hope it wasn’t as bad as that.) and he was calling the cops. All I said about it was, “I hope I can get out of the parking lot.” I’m a real humanitarian sometimes.
A longer-standing vice of mine is nail polish. I can’t stop myself from buying a bottle or five every time I go to the store. It’s excessive, but it’s totally true. The only thing that ever stops me doing it is extreme brokeness, extreme hurriedness, or if I can’t justify a new color because I’m pretty sure I have the same color at home already. I have a similar relationship with eyeshadow.
It’s the colors: I want to possess all the colors. And the problem is that, like lipstick, it’s hard to find the exact right color. I’ve been looking for a shade of dirty brass eyeshadow that matches a NARS nail polish I saw once (but didn’t buy because it was $22, which I totally regret now because it’s been discontinued) for three years now. I don’t even know why I want dirty brass eyeshadow so much, because it might look terrible on me, but I want it.
I’ve been chasing green nail polishes for years. The perfect shade of mint, the perfect shade of chartreuse–the one above is pretty close to perfect, but in my head chartreuse is a color that borders on mustard, like if you took the color above and added some turmeric to it. I’ve always been after the perfect shade of what I think of in my head as absinthe, even though I have no idea what I really mean by that.
I remember when Chanel Vamp nail polish first came out when I was in high school. I thought I was going to kill myself if I didn’t get some. Back then, there wasn’t a rainbow assortment of colors available at stores. You had your typical range of reds, pinks, purples, corals, neutrals and (gag me) French manicure kits, plus Wet and Wild black and white. Now Vamp is listed as a glittery purple on the Chanel website, which is just wrong. Originally it was Rouge Noir, and it was the sexiest thing ever, as seen on Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.
Maybe it’s stupid to be obsessed with these things, but it’s cheaper than buying tons of fancy shoes, or electronic gadgets, which other people do. I think everyone has some thing he or she can’t help acquiring whenever he or she can, and anyone who claims not to is lying.