Into Darkness

This is not a movie review, it is simply a record of my experience. Therefore there will be no spoilers.

I didn’t realize Star Trek Into Darkness was being released Wednesday, I thought it was being released Thursday at midnight. All the better for me that it came out Wednesday, to save me the tiresome chore of trying to see it Thursday at midnight. I just can’t stay up that late anymore. But a showing at 10:15 is right up my alley. After letting a friend talk me into seeing the IMAX 3D version and not just the regular version, I ensured my commitment by buying the ticket on my iPhone while I was otherwise occupied at the store. $18 with the service charge! But, like I said, it ensured my commitment. I felt like I’d been waiting all my life to see this movie (That may be corny,  but you love what you love. You are obsessed with what you are obsessed with). All along I knew I wouldn’t be able to see it much later than the earliest moment that I possibly could. So I didn’t see it Wednesday at midnight, but Thursday was the night I’d planned on anyway. I even took Friday off work.

I had to go see it by myself. The last and only time I’ve ever seen a movie in the theater by myself was when Blood Simple played at The Flicks for some sort of anniversary showing 10 or so years ago. (Blood Simple is one of the most perfect films ever made. See it if you haven’t). I’d made plans to go see STID

Everything else he wears in the movie is super dorky.

Everything else he wears in the movie is super dorky.

(that’s funny) with friends Friday afternoon, but I HAD to see it by myself, immediately. HAD TO. SEE IT. BY MYSELF. Seeing it by myself was very important for some inarticulable reason, (probably something to do with Bones in a wetsuit). It’s not like I won’t go see it again ASAP. But I wanted the, er, first time to be alone. Well, as alone as you can be in a sea of nerds wearing 3D glasses. Sometimes being alone in a crowd sucks, sometimes it’s comforting, like at The Walkmen show at Treefort. That was fucking perfect.

I have to remember in the future not to go to 3D movies, because the 3D experience is so distracting it takes away from the movie. First of all, the glasses are uncomfortable and the lenses in them pick up glare on the edges so you spend too much time turning your head to get away from the glare. Then there’s the fact that everything on the screen is rendered into a series of textures popping out at you rather than just images, so instead of seeing a spaceship, you see something that resembles the surface of a textured greeting card.

Also, you pay too much attention to the size of things in the shot. One minute, someone’s face fills your vision, the next the people are about medium size on the screen, then they’re even smaller, then back to huge–I kept finding myself paying attention to that. And then you’re like, “Oh, look: there’s that signature lens flare that so many people hate!” and “Ooh, I like the way the camera starts outside the window and then swoops inside the room!”

It’s not like I didn’t pay attention to the story, but there was just so much else going on in my head, like “Wow, Bones is really laying it on thick with the corny dialogue,” and “What the fuck is he wearing?!” And the fact that Benedict Cumberbatch looks really good in one scene because his haircut is basically the short-on-one-side-long-on-the-other skater haircut. It’s much better than his Sherlock hair. (Ok, those observations had nothing to do with the 3D experience). Speaking of BC, I need the CG team from this film to erase the lines around my eyes, too. 

So, I can’t stop myself from going to see this film in a regular, flat, normal projection this afternoon.

See what I mean? Great hair.

See what I mean? Great hair.

Assorted Shorts

These are all things I found in my journal that for reasons inexplicable never became posts on Twitter or Facebook. Since I keep my journal like a blog, they have titles, even.

I HAVEN’T GOT A CLUE  I just got the Lionel Ritchie song “Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?” stuck in my head. Was it totally insensitive for the video to feature a blind girl? Also, I think I like that song. Like LIKE it like it. Like, love it. Looooove it. I’m totally into that song and would do it if it were a person. November 6, 2012

STABATION  It seems like there should be a word for stabbing that ends in ation. So that you can say you’ll threaten someone with ___ation. If they threaten stabbists with incarceration, why can’t stabbists threaten their victims with stabation? November 6, 2012

TWO UNRELATED THOUGHTS  The term failed marriage is so inherently insulting. It assumes the marriage itself is more important than the individuals involved in the marriage. I was just reading an article where the writer mentioned her Birkin bag, and at the same time I scrolled a website and came across a photo of Jane Birkin. Creepy synchronicity. January 30, 2013

CRINGEWORTHY  I am one of those jaded assholes for whom other people’s excitement will always make me cringe. January 30, 2013

MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES?  When you watch movies/read books and the characters get inside of you a little bit, that’s a good thing. February 5, 2013

AN ANALOGY I’D LIKE TO USE SOMEDAY  (Explaining something to someone who hasn’t understood the previous analogy you’ve used). “Ok, let me put this in terms you’ll understand: you’re in the Beatles, but you’re Ringo.” (Not sure I haven’t heard that elsewhere, actually). February 9, 2013

REALISM  Realism isn’t really my bag. February 9, 2013

MATCH.COM  This is what it’s like to be a woman: you complain to your friend about not liking your job or the town you live in, and her answer to your woes is to suggest you get on Match.com. February 10, 2013

INCEST  This, coming from the guy who had to have Siri look up the word “incest.” February 11, 2013

THAT’S JUST HOW I WRITE  Short, choppy sentences, punctuated by longer sentences composed of short, choppy sentences. February 13, 2013

OUTRO  If I ever own my own TV production company, I know what my outro will be: a clip of a cartoon hot dog flying at you with the voiceover, “Eat this!” February 14, 2013

HOT GUY ZOO  I wish there was like, a zoo for hot guys where I could go and just look at them.  February 28, 2013

DRUNK IRISHMEN  Isn’t it funny how drunk Irishmen are charming on the screen, but in real life they’re horrible and have bad teeth and try to stick their tongue in your mouth at a party they weren’t invited to in the first place? February 28, 2013

QUOTIDIAN  Quotidian is a word that should never be used, because there are at least eight other words that mean the same thing and are less pretentious, less syllable-y, and less stupid-sounding. February 28, 2013

ACADEMIC DNA  Insecurity and Smugness are the two main components of the double helix that makes up academia. March 4, 2013

NOT THE RIGHT FLAVOR COUNTRY  ”This tastes funny.” “That’s because it isn’t alcohol-flavored.” March 15, 2013

TIME  If you boil life down to one essential thing, that thing is time. April 17, 2013

FEELINGS  How much of life do we spend trying to recapture a feeling? Aren’t memories, by and large, just feelings? But did those feelings actually exist at the time we are remembering, or are they feelings that we’re ascribing to the memories now? April 17, 2013

JENNY DIES  I’m going to make a movie with Karl Urban and Colin Farrell and it will be called Jenny Dies. May 15, 2013

FOREIGN JAZZ  Jazz sucks no matter what language it’s in. May 15, 2013

shorts

The Book I Like to Read Again and Again: Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

I was going to write a post on this anyway, then I found the topic as a daily prompt from few weeks ago, which is perfect. In the spring of 2012 I read Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. In the fall of 2012, I read it again. There is just something about this book. Continue reading

Bugged

I don’t like flying insects. I never have, not since I was a kid and our house would get taken over by miller moths every June. And I mean taken over. The moths come in through the vents and congregate on the walls, ceilings, and windows. They fall in your food while you’re cooking, they flutter in your face while you’re walking down the hall to the bathroom. Continue reading

What Dull Hell is This?

Other people probably don’t think about Hell as much as I do. Or maybe they do, I don’t know. What I do know is that high on my list of places that invoke a hellish atmosphere is your typical American hotel room. Other examples of things I view as hellish would be doctor’s office waiting rooms, car repair place waiting rooms—basically anywhere that combines tedious waiting with dull and depressing surroundings. Especially if there is a TV in the room, because you know it will always be tuned to either Fox News or The View. For some reason there are no other choices.

Continue reading

I Do

My mother and I have differing views on soup. To me, soup means broth with savory bits floating in it. To my mother, soup is a near-solid: an aggregate of vegetables and meat. Broth? Who needs it?

Writing on the Internet is Jenny

I made a list of things that annoy me. It’s long. You are not shocked.

One thing I’ve always detested, writing-wise, is what I refer to as yearbook-speak. Specifically, I’m referring to the way yearbook captions are written. Maybe it was just my school that specialized in this annoying Yodaesque sentence construction, but I think it was (probably still is) the standard for high school yearbook captioning.

At this point you’re probably wondering what I mean by “Yodaesque sentence construction,” right? Continue reading

My Day

Things I did today:

Saved a dog that was running in the street by bringing it to its owner, who had no idea the dog was missing. Then the idiot put the (very small, collarless) dog into his truck so it wouldn’t wander down the middle of the street. Continue reading

Best Tweets of 2012

2012: what can I say about you that hasn’t already been said? Curate was your most tragically Internet-repurposed word, and Martin McDonagh made my long-time dream come true by putting Sam Rockwell and Christopher Walken in the same movie. That’s all I have to say about you, 2012. But here are some other things, too. I was going to say I curated the fuck out of this list for you, but if you’ll notice how long it is, you’ll see that no curating was done here on this day.

Continue reading

Are you ready for Christmas?

People who know me know that I don’t enjoy being asked inane questions, and I recently blogged about the inane question phenomenon here. So imagine my delight when I saw the Daily Prompt for today was “What question do you hate to be asked?” Well, since you asked and its December, I’ll tell you.

Continue reading